


singin' from a streetlight

by euphrasiepontmercy



Category: Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)
Genre: Gen, Songfic, family and love and music and all that good stuff, so it's canon compliant up until the end of s1, this is an alternate universe as if she was actually a character on the show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:35:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27375814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euphrasiepontmercy/pseuds/euphrasiepontmercy
Summary: guess who's back (back, back) back again (gain, gain) Tori's back (back, back)a collection of oneshots; a study of songs heartsung by hypothetical character Victoria Evelyn Clarke. title from Hollywood by Jukebox the Ghost(also, my other fic "jumpstarted" is another version of events; it's more of an au, this is more of how I think she'd actually fit into the show)
Comments: 35
Kudos: 6





	1. why can't the past just die?

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy!!!!!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoey needs to talk to her dad and realizes that she’s not the only one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> she's BACK baby (in an alternate universe)  
> lyrics from Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again from The Phantom of the Opera (cmon austin, you've already used an alw musical, i've put so much thought into this Make It Happen)

It had been... _a day_.

The stress of managing the fourth floor was mounting as the Chirp faced privacy invasion investigations, the birth of her nephew had been bringing on a whole new onslaught of emotion that both healed and added to the grief of last month, more family would be visiting and she was completely unprepared, and she was barely any closer to figuring out the tangled romantic situation she’d found herself in.

Zoey needed to talk to her dad.

It was raining in the cemetery, much as it had when they had tried to choose his plot. Zoey trudged through the wet grass on the already well-worn path to Mitch’s grave, loosely holding her umbrella and trying not to break. Through her tears, she barely registered the soft, melancholy strings that had started to work their way through the wind, so she only recognized that a heartsong was beginning at all when she reached her father’s grave and realized that she wasn’t alone.

“ _You were once my one companion...you were all that mattered._ ”

Her younger cousin, Victoria, was staring down at the grave. Zoey knew that she would be arriving today, but had never expected to see her like this. The girl’s head slowly raised.

“ _You were once a friend…_ ”

She looked at her older cousin, as if expecting to see her there, and took her hand.

“ _...and father._ ”

Zoey leaned into the taller woman’s shoulder and felt her breath shake as she attempted to sing the next line.

“ _Then my world was shattered_.”

It had been months since Zoey had gained her power, and this was the first time that a song didn’t seem like a polished performance. Victoria seemed to be struggling to get the notes out through her tears, but her tone was still clear.

“ _Wishing you were somehow here again...wishing you were somehow near. Sometimes it seemed, if I just dreamed, somehow you would be here._ ”

The young soprano tilted her head to the sky as if it offered an escape, still tightly holding Zoey’s hand.

“ _Wishing I could hear your voice again, knowing that I never would._ ”

Looking over at her cousin, Zoey couldn’t tell the difference between the rain and tears that were falling on her face. She looked like a painting, one that someone had decided to create after a heartbreak and spilled a mug of tea on in their daze.

“ _Dreaming of you won’t help me to do all that you dreamed I could…_ ”

Her voice cracked and she trailed off. Because of David’s teenage theatre obsession, Zoey recognized the song, and she knew it wasn’t over; the instrumental carried on in the background of her mind, but Victoria seemed to have no intention of continuing. The strings faded as the younger woman struggled not to break down, trying to hold herself up but eventually collapsing. Zoey hugged her tightly, remembering how it felt when she herself first saw the grave; _that’s when it really hits_. Mitch and Maggie had been two of the few genuine supporters that Victoria had in her life and career, and they meant more to her than she ever could have expressed. The prospect of losing her uncle in such a slow and painstaking way was terrifying to her, almost as much as it had been to Zoey.

“I know, Tori. I know.”

Upon hearing Zoey’s voice, the younger woman shrank back, seeming almost embarrassed.

“I’m-I’m so sorry. I’m only his niece, it doesn’t mean as much, you actually had to watch him go through this while I was away at college and completely ignorant, that was so insensitive of me to just cry in front of you like that-”

“ _Victoria Evelyn Clarke_. Look at me.”

Surprised at her cousin’s tone, she looked down to let her hazel eyes meet Zoey’s bright blue ones, which held an intensity and compassion that she’d never seen before.

“You’re hurting. It’s okay to be hurting.”

Victoria blinked, eyes darting side to side as if saying _yeah, that’s obvious_. She had said things like this countless times to countless people, but Zoey had just begun to realize that her cousin had never taken her own advice.

“I came so quickly after graduation in order to be here for the family. None of you owe anything to me, especially after what you’ve gone through.”

“We _are_ family, You’re here for us, and we’re here for you.”

The rain started to slow, and they were brought back to the present. When mentally reminded of where she was, Victoria choked back another sob, and Zoey found it hard not to cry with her. They stood there for a few moments, staring at the gravestone. The sight of it had become etched into Zoey’s mind at this point, but it felt different this time; this was her first visit to her father since the funeral during which she wasn’t the only one asking for help.

“I really don’t know what I’m going to do.”

The sentence had come quietly from a girl that Zoey had never known to be subtle in expressing how she felt. She’d always admired her younger cousin’s seeming ability to find hope in any situation, but this time it looked as if she’d hit a real crossroads.

“There have barely been any auditions lately. So many other tall, white sopranos with theatre degrees are already out there, and I haven’t been able to book anything for the summer. I feel so behind.”

Zoey nodded in sympathy, and something suddenly clicked.

“Do you still play piano?”

Victoria turned to her and nodded, surprised by the seemingly off-topic question.

“My boss saw that video you had posted last month.”

“The Debussy?”

“Whatever it was. She’s the acting CEO of SPRQpoint now, but she’s coming back to visit tomorrow, and I remember her seeing that and saying you should play in our lobby this summer.”

Victoria blinked slowly, starting to catch on as Zoey started to smile.

“You could stay in my apartment-you’d absolutely love my neighbor. If you come to work with me tomorrow, I could introduce you to Joan and my coworkers. It’ll pay really well, it’ll look good on your resume, and I’m sure you’d love the atmosphere-”

“Zoey, you don’t need to sell me on it any further,” she laughed. “That sounds _amazing_. Thank you so much. If there’s anything I can do to repay you-”

“Oh, shush.”

This was the first moment that Zoey had consciously noticed that the instrumental of the heartsong had completely faded out. The reminder of it sparked a thought.

_My cousin is one of the most empathetic people I know. She’s a musical theatre major, so she’s fantastic at analyzing lyrics. If we work in the same building, she’d get to know my coworkers better than Mo could. We trust each other enough that she won’t think I’m lying-_

_No, I shouldn’t tell her. I can’t keep putting this burden onto people._

“I’m just grateful that you were here when you were. I really needed to hear that today. You know, about...being there for each other and all that. It’s almost as if you knew exactly what I was thinking.”

_...Okay, universe, fine._

“Actually, I could use your help with something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay that ended up far more angsty than I expected for a first chapter but that just happens to be her first song. don't worry there's plenty of Good Old-Fashioned Yearning coming up


	2. she wants to dance around the room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zoey gives tori her first tour of the fourth floor. the resulting heartsong is...unexpected, to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is my plea to austin winsberg: please let me sing dodie songs on your show that's literally all i want in life (lyrics from "absolutely smitten" by dodie clark)

“... _ Oh my God _ .”

“Not bad, right? You haven’t even seen the half of it,” Zoey grinned as she watched her cousin take in the SPRQpoint office for the first time.

“These windows are  _ huge _ -the color scheme-the architecture-and is that a…”

Zoey followed her gaze to the ever-changing food bar.

“What is it today?”

“Froyo bar! They’ve got a baller layout up there.”

This voice came from the side, swiftly moving closer as its owner spun toward the cousins in a rolling chair. He held a carton of frozen yogurt that held every topping imaginable and piled up in a way that almost defied the laws of physics. Zoey grimaced, having previously known that she’d have to introduce Victoria to her coworkers but not having processed until now that she  _ actually had to introduce Victoria to her coworkers _ .

“...Thanks, Tobin.”

“And you,” he pointed with his spoon, “must be the famous cousin.” His spoon moved between the two women in an exaggerated attempt to contemplate their height difference, and he tried to stifle a laugh.

“Mhm,” Zoey blinked, unamused. “Tobin, this is Victoria. Joan hired her to play piano in the lobby during the summer; she just got her BFA in musical theatre. Victoria, this is Tobin Batra.”

“Musical theatre…” Tobin circled his spoon in thought. “Has she met Leif?”

Zoey shook her head.

“What does he have to do with that?”

“Are you kidding? He’s such a nerd for that stuff, not to mention that my boy’s got serious pipes.”

_ Well, that’s a little hard to believe. _ Zoey had never pinned Leif for someone interested in music, and her mind flashed back to the first and only time she’d heard his actual “pipes” in action a few months ago. Victoria was nodding, and Zoey could see the gears turning in her mind, but she wasn’t fully sure why.  _ Now would be a pretty good time for a song. _

“It was nice to meet you. And  _ that _ ,” Victoria said, referring to the froyo creation, “is an absolute masterpiece.”

“You,” Tobin said with a perfectly serious expression, pointing at her with his spoon. “You get it.” He grinned and pushed off from a desk to roll himself away. Zoey sighed.

“Well, now you’ve met  _ him _ . Do you want a tour of the fourth floor?”

The younger cousin shrugged and nodded, and they started making their way through the bullpen. Zoey pointed out the swings, food bar, and conference rooms, and she had started to make her way to the gaming area when she heard humming and stopped short. It was a melody she didn’t recognize, and she looked around for the source.

“Who is that?”

Zoey startled at the sound of her cousin’s voice and turned to her; she seemed to recognize the song.

“You hear it too? I thought it was a heartsong.”

Victoria shook her head.

“That’s “Any Moment” from  _ Into the Woods _ ; the songs in this show are pretty dependent on context, so it most likely wouldn’t be heartsung in a situation like this.”

“I am  _ so _ glad you’re here.”

Victoria smiled, but it looked like she was barely perceiving the conversation they were having. She appeared to be utterly entranced by the melody, speaking softly and distractedly as if trying not to drown it out.

“Could it be the guy that Tobin mentioned? Laef?”

“ _ Leif _ ,” Zoey corrected, trying and failing to hold back a laugh, “and I’m not completely sure. It sounds like his voice, but he’s not the type to be absentmindedly humming at work; I’ve only heard him really sing once.”

Victoria looked at her quizzically, wondering at the context.

“Don’t ask.”

The humming trailed off as they passed by the bullpen.

“Hey, Zoey, I was finishing up this software and I just wanted to make sure-oh.”

The subject of conversation had entered the scene. He’d been walking in Zoey’s general direction while talking, his face buried in his laptop, when he bumped into the other cousin. He adjusted his glasses, and Zoey heard a sharp intake of breath from the girl next to her.

_ That can’t be a good sign. _

“Sorry...after five years of working with Zoey, I’d gotten used to looking down.”

“Very funny. Victoria, this is Leif Donnelly, one of our best programmers.”

She included the last part of the sentence as a way to get him to talk about himself, attempting to show Victoria his arrogance firsthand.

That plan quickly backfired.

_ Apparently I didn’t take into consideration that he barely heard a word I was saying. _

He offered a handshake.

“So you’re the cousin.”

She took it.

“So you’re the musical theatre nerd.”

To say that he seemed caught off guard by the assessment would be an understatement. Zoey smirked.  _ Apparently, Leif.exe has stopped working. _ She heard Tobin laugh as he heard the conversation from a few feet away, and Leif turned toward his friend for a moment before looking back.

“You know  _ Into the Woods _ ?”

“Of course, it’s one of my favorites. Your, um-”

_ Oh God, I know that look. Tori, please just stop talking- _

“Your voice...fits the part well.”

He smiled, but seemed unable to say anything. The silence was unbearable, and Zoey didn’t want to think about what it could hold.

_ Just say something. Say words. Move your mouth and make syllables come out. _

“Joan hired her to play piano in the lobby, so over the summer you can talk about Sendheim shows as much as you want.”

“Sondheim.”

_ Ohhhhhhhh crap, they said it in unison. Curse my lack of musical knowledge…change the subject, just change the subject. _

“Did you have a question about that software?”

“No, I’ve got it.”

“Well, then we should probably get going. I’m giving her a tour of the building, and I still need to introduce her to Joan.”  _ Remember Joan? Our boss, the one you were so desperately in love with until she broke your heart two months ago? You’re not doing the same thing to my cousin. _ “Let’s go, Tori.”

The younger woman shook herself out of her thoughts.

“Sure,” she said, still with a bewildered tone of voice. They started to make their way back to the elevator.

“Have you been telling people about me? Considering that I’m apparently the ‘famous cousin’, I must have been mentioned once or twice.”

“Yeah, I think so. Honestly, the last few months have been so strange that work interactions just seem to blur together.”

Victoria nodded in sympathy. She didn’t say a word as she pressed the elevator button, still seeming to be lost in thought, so Zoey spoke again as an attempt to get her mind on anything else.

“So, how does ‘the famous cousin’ feel on her first tour?”

As if on cue, the sound of a peppy ukulele came out of nowhere. Upon noticing something over Zoey’s shoulder, Victoria immediately perked up on the first beat of the song, and her voice floated onto a melody that her older cousin had never heard.

_ “She knows this feeling all too well.” _

_ That sounds like a love song if I’ve ever heard one… _

_...shit. _

_ “She feels her heart begin to swell.” _

Zoey had never seen her cousin smile this brightly. She turned around, dreading the confirmation of what (no,  _ who _ ) was the subject of Victoria’s second heartsong. Sure enough, the tall, blonde Slytherin was standing not far behind her, his head still buried in his laptop.

_ “Handsome stranger, you have made her insides turn to jelly.” _

Victoria had started to dance, throwing her arms out and twirling toward the center of the fourth floor entrance in a manner that was somehow both graceful and awkward. While this situation was wildly different from the last time Zoey had heard her sing, both of the musical numbers shared a quality of vulnerability; this one also seemed to be more of a true expression than a polished performance.

_ “She wants to dance around the room, kiss you until her lips turn blue.” _

_ Oh, I’m definitely not a fan of that image. _

The singer stuck her hands in the pockets of her overall dress, looking up to study every aspect of Leif’s face.

_ “Handsome stranger, you have made her wonder...is she pretty?” _

Completely oblivious to the fact that he was being serenaded, Leif turned and started to make his way to a table at the food bar. Victoria grinned and shook her head as she watched him go.

_ “But it’s too late. She believes in fate.” _

She staggered backwards, holding her floppy hat to her head as she twirled toward the wall behind the front desk. As she sang the next line, she threw herself against the wall as if blown backwards by a wave of music.

_ “She’s absolutely smitten, she’ll never let you go.” _

The music stopped as if it had never happened, and Zoey watched as her cousin transitioned back into reality.

“Do you think we should get some frozen yogurt? I think we should get some frozen yogurt. We should probably get some frozen yogurt.” She paused. “I’m gonna go get some frozen yogurt.”

Zoey sighed and followed her up to the froyo bar. It wasn’t uncharacteristic of the younger woman to ramble when she was nervous, but this trait, along with her generally transparent nature, made it difficult for Zoey to forget that she actually had to deal with the information that she’d just been handed.

They got bowls and spoons, and Zoey noticed that Victoria’s hand was slightly shaking as she pulled down the lever on the froyo machine.

_ We’ll deal with this later tonight; I’ll introduce her to Mo, and maybe he can help. At least the song is over. _

This thought had barely left Zoey’s head when she was handed her cousin’s bowl of yogurt and the ukulele burst back in at full force.

_ “That girl just there, yes, she’s the one with Cupid’s arrow in her bum!” _

Leif had moved himself and his laptop to a table near the froyo bar, unknowingly bringing on the second verse. He stood up and started on his way down the staircase.

_ “Handsome stranger, you have made her happy…” _

Victoria slid down the railing, landing on beat at the same time that Leif reached the floor.

_ “...the first in a long time.” _

The colorful light that usually flooded the SPRQpoint building seemed brighter than ever, and a yellow beam seemed to follow Victoria as she danced across the office, as if nature itself was joining in the heartsong.

_ “But it’s too late. Oh, I believe in fate.” _

Zoey had wondered how long it would take for the swings near the food bar to be utilized in a musical number, and today was that day. She watched as her cousin followed Leif, who had sat on a swing to work. She took her place on the swing next to his, pulling back with him and letting go at the same time.

_ “I’m absolutely smitten, I’ll never let you go.” _

Backup vocals came out of nowhere, and after a few moments Victoria jumped off of the swing. She turned around and riffed to the sky, beaming, completely overtaken by the simple sight in front of her.

_ “I’ll never let you go!” _

As the song burst forward, the light did the same, and the girl danced her way back to where Zoey was standing. The instruments dropped out one by one until only the ukulele was left, and Victoria was now standing next to Zoey, still staring adoringly at the man on the swing. The final line was sung a capella, and there was so much vulnerability in her voice that it easily could have been sung in real life.

_ “I’ll never let you go.” _

She didn’t snap out of the song; she barely moved. Zoey blinked a few times, waiting for a confirmation that the song and feeling had passed, but it never came. Victoria laughed softly, shook her head, and took back her frozen yogurt before smiling at Zoey and walking back to the elevator.

“...Well, she’s absolutely-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *guitar chord*. IT'S YEARNING TIME BABY (do I have college applications to finish? yes. is this my coping mechanism? you betcha)


	3. oh, all I ever wanted was a life in your shape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zoey has to face the truth about her cousin's feelings. it's...rather difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics from Strawberry Blond by Mitski

Weeks had passed, and Victoria had seemed to settle pretty well into the world of SPRQpoint. Almost too well, in fact; Zoey had to witness her cousin and her sworn rival actually becoming  _ friends _ . At least it didn’t seem to be anything past that. Zoey had told Victoria what she’d sung, but it had been received with an unconvincing denial; she’d insisted that it was only infatuation at first sight, nothing more, and they’d left it at that. As the days of shared lunches and obscure references passed, however, Zoey found that harder and harder to believe.

Today, Mo had visited the building to pick up the cousins for their weekly lunch. Zoey had met him at the elevator door, and Victoria had already been waiting at Zoey’s desk, but she wasn’t there at the moment. Zoey sighed and turned to Mo, who looked down at her as if asking,  _ are you surprised? _

“Two o’clock.”

Zoey turned to where Mo was looking; sure enough, Victoria was at the standing desk, and Leif was laughing at something she had said.

“Are you positively sure there’s nothing going on there?”

“That’s what she told me, but I haven’t seen anything to prove otherwise. I’d like to stay in denial as long as possible.”

“Zo-Zo, you know as well as I do that the universe isn’t going to let you.”

“I haven’t heard a song from her since that first one, so if she does have real feelings for him…” She shrugged. “The universe doesn’t want me to know it.”

“And you are…”

“Completely fine with that, thank you very much. It’s one less thing to worry about if there’s no confirmation that my little cousin is falling for  _ him _ .”

Clapping.

_ Why is there clapping? _

“...Oh, God.”

Mo smirked when he recognized the wide-eyed expression on Zoey’s face.

“Perfect timing, hmm?”

“We still don’t know what the song is, though.”

“Child, you don’t need a song to decipher the look on that girl’s face.”

A simple group of woodwinds danced in Zoey’s head, and she groaned.

_ “I love everybody because I love you. I don’t need the city, and I don’t need proof.” _

She loved him.  _ She genuinely loves him. How did I not see this happen?  _ There was no coming back from this.

_ “All I need, darlin’, is a life in your shape. I picture it, soft, and I ache.” _

Victoria seemed lifted by the melody that appeared to lilt from her very soul. As she sang, she gazed reflectively at Leif, who was writing in a small notebook. She lifted her hand to his face for a moment, but nervously lowered it, as if yearning to but afraid to hold him.

_ “Look at you, strawberry blond, fields rollin’ on, I love it when you call my name.” _

As it had before, the light coming in through the windows seemed to slowly grow brighter as the young woman sang. She walked backwards with an occasional spin, never taking her eyes away from Leif.

_ “Can you hear the bumblebees swarm, watchin’ your arm? I love it when you look my way.” _

Something seemed to burst when the chorus repeated. Light flooded the fourth floor, and when Victoria opened her arms, every chair started to spin.

_ “Look at you, strawberry blond!” _

She danced around Zoey and Mo, seeming to be pulled along by the driving pulse of the song. Her eyes never left the standing desk.

_ “Fields rollin’ on, I love it when you call my name.” _

There seemed to be a whole chorus of voices behind her, and each of those voices came from every office on the fourth floor, filling the whole space. She made her way back to the desk, carrying herself as if she were flying.

_ “Can you hear the bumblebees swarm, watching your arm? I love it when you look my way-” _

The singer was about to twirl herself straight into the boy’s arms when Zoey grabbed her shoulder, unable to watch any more of this. Victoria turned around, surprised and completely oblivious. Once the music cut out, Zoey awkwardly let go, remembering the reality of the situation.

“Sorry. Let’s, um…”

“Oh, is it time for lunch?”

“Mhm,” Zoey nodded, tight-lipped. “We’ve got something to talk about.” She looked at Mo, who regarded the girl with a pitying yet amused expression.

Victoria’s eyes suddenly became serious as she realized that she’d sung something, and she nodded before turning around and waving to Leif as they left. He smiled as he waved back, and Zoey quickly looked away. The same impulse that had told her to reveal her powers to her cousin was now asking her to face the music once again.

_ Okay, universe…I guess I’m doing this. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a short one but so fun to write. dear God I just want to be on this show


	4. and yeah, a part of me is sad, but a part of me is havin' such a good time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> feelings are one thing. reciprocation is quite another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this universe's version of the latter half of chapter 5 of Jumpstarted: the song of her namesake. the scenes are similar; this is just from Zoey's point of view. lyrics from Victoria by Jukebox the Ghost (and, once again, if you haven't seen MTG's performance of it please go to youtube, it'll change your life forever)

“How’s the next piece coming?”

Zoey was startled away from her line of code by Leif’s voice from across the room. It had been hours since the workday officially ended. They were the only two left in the office, and two of the few left in the building; Victoria was downstairs as usual, waiting for Zoey.

“I’m almost done, why?”

“If I can send you what I’ve got so far, I think I’d be done for the day.”

“You usually stay a lot longer,” Zoey said with suspicion.

Leif shrugged, eyes darting as he tried to think of an excuse. The silence grew awkward, staying that way until chords floated up from below.

_ A heartsong? _

Zoey braced herself for impact, staring at Leif as if trying to decipher what he’d sing before he sang it. The lyrics, however, never came.

“What?”

She looked away.

“Oh, nothing.”

Another pause. This wasn’t a song, it was a  _ piece _ . Classical music.  _ Even farther outside my comfort zone.  _ So this was actually being played; this was Victoria downstairs.

Her computer flashed a notification:  _ Chirp Version 3-File 28.34.  _ She looked up at Leif and sighed; he’d sent the file and was quickly putting his laptop in his bag.

“Have a nice night, then.”

He blinked, startled, seeming to have forgotten that she was even there.

“Goodnight.”

The way he smiled reminded Zoey of who he’d been before she’d known his thoughts, or at least who she thought he was. The crinkle in his eye, the awkward way he handled his glasses; Leif had seemed more genuine lately, more... _ himself  _ somehow.  _ Maybe he won’t be as bad for her as I thought. _

He stepped into the elevator, glancing to the sky with a small smile.

_ What on earth is he thinking about? _

_ Again, now would be a great time for a song. _

The elevator doors closed.

_...Welp. _

She sighed and opened Leif’s file, integrating it into the code as the lyrical piano carried on downstairs. It wasn't a bad accompaniment to the task; although she usually preferred podcasts, Zoey had genuinely enjoyed hearing her cousin’s playing as she worked late into the night. When the piece ended, she came to a good stopping point, packed up her things, and left.

The elevator was quiet, and tonight it felt even more quiet than usual.

_ So, it’s Friday...tomorrow night Emily is dropping Peter off at my apartment...I should buy some baby food...as if I knew how to prepare it...yeah, let’s just go microwaveable… _

_...wait, why am I stopped? _

The elevator thudded onto the second floor, although she’d directed it to go to the first. Zoey sighed as she remembered that its operation had been spotty lately.

“Guess I’m taking the stairs,” she said to herself.

The statement echoed through the open space of the second floor’s lobby, and Zoey shook her head and smiled. Ever since she began working at SPRQpoint, she’d appreciated these nights when she was one of the last left; there was a peace in the building, a stillness that contrasted beautifully with the industrial hum of the daylight. It had been a while since she’d been able to deal with quiet, though, and the fact that she didn’t run from her own thoughts this time gave her hope that she was healing.

Victoria’s laugh rang through the first floor and floated up the staircase, and Zoey blinked.  _ She’s laughing to herself. I guess one’s imagination can take over a bit when you’re sitting on your own for so long. _

“Tori?”

She started down the staircase as her voice ricocheted off of each wall and came back to her without a response. Muted voices, apparently unable to hear her, carried on an unintelligible conversation. Zoey took a breath and called out into the quiet again.

“I’m sorry that it took so long; there are just some projects that I’ve had to finish up.”

Still no response.

“Victoria?”

As she reached the bottom of the staircase, Zoey found that the unidentified voices had stopped, and she heard a scale coming from the direction of the grand piano. She breathed a sigh of relief and followed the sound.

Her cousin wasn’t sitting at the bench.

No one was.

_...I’m sorry, what? _

She cautiously approached the piano, which appeared to be  _ playing itself  _ in a perfectly organized frenzy of chromatics and staccato arpeggios.

_ This has got to be part of a heartsong. _

The apparent introduction to the unfamiliar song ended, and there was a rather long pause. Zoey blinked, wondering if she really had started to lose it.

_ “Victoria approached me with a fire in her eyes-” _

Zoey whipped her head around at the sound of the familiar voice as the not-so-inanimate piano began rippling out an accompaniment.

_ Leif. _

Though she could hear him, she couldn’t see him;  _ he must be wherever she is.  _ A chill went down her spine at the same time that the next chord rang out.

_ “And I swear, and I swear I was burnin’ alive!” _

She followed his voice across the lobby, but didn’t have to for much longer; as he sang the next line, Leif burst backwards into Zoey’s line of sight, dramatically whipping off his jacket and throwing it aside in time with the music. Zoey couldn’t help but laugh.

_ “And now you cry wolf out to the moon...yeah, is anybody there, or am I just as scared as you? And now you’ve given me a mission to do…” _

The subject of the song twirled toward her singer, and suddenly her choice of dress that day made a lot more sense.  _ It’s almost as if this power is affecting things outside of itself… _

Victoria’s eyes were wide in awestruck disbelief. Zoey recognized her expression as similar to her own, except for a few moments in which she allowed herself to fall into fully being  _ part _ of the song as opposed to  _ witnessing _ it as the older cousin always did.  _ Could she be hearing this in the same way I am? _

_ “I’ve gotta rearrange the stars so that they’re not as far from you!” _

Their figures were almost silhouettes from where Zoey was standing. She watched the lights of the San Francisco night follow them through the windows as they circled each other in sweeping steps, growing closer and closer before spinning each other around in turn.

_ “But you are certainly my poison of choice!” _

Leif let go of Victoria’s hands and staggered backwards as he sang, grinning from ear to ear. The girl laughed aloud, still in joyful disbelief, as it finally began to hit her that  _ this was real.  _ Zoey couldn’t help but feel her cousin’s happiness when she saw the way she looked at him.

_ “And I know you’ve had your fair share of boys.” _

They had started dancing up the same staircase that Zoey had just descended, going up and down with the chromatic scales that played. Victoria’s hands moved a few times, tapping out whatever was happening on the piano on the side of her pine-green dress or on the railing of the staircase. She seemed to have a hand in the accompaniment somehow.  _ This has never happened before; _ the instrumentals usually just came from the sky.

_ “But you are certainly my poison of choice!” _

Having reached the top of the staircase, Leif slid down the railing. Victoria grinned, and Zoey waved to her, finally catching her eye. She silently asked if her younger cousin was hearing the heartsong, and Victoria nodded, happier than Zoey had ever seen her. She blinked, and her face fell back into the song’s heightened reality as she slid down the railing after him and was caught and twirled.

Zoey remembered a Thanksgiving weekend sixteen years ago, when she was fourteen and Victoria was seven. After dinner, Maggie had put on an old music-and-variety show as background noise. Zoey had been reading on the couch, and David was next to her, pretending not to be interested in the sweeping ballroom dance being performed on the screen. Little Victoria, though, had been kneeling in front of the television set, utterly enthralled.

That long-gone image of a woman in a graceful green dress being dipped and whirled as the orchestra swelled was now being played out once more in front of Zoey’s eyes.

_ “And when I drink you down, my heart makes a sound like…” _

They danced their way across the lobby. In between turns, Victoria managed to make eye contact with Zoey again, and the two cousins communicated a million thoughts in a few facial expressions. Victoria slid onto the piano bench, and Leif took his place beside her.

_ “...this.” _

She plunked out the arpeggio at the heart of the piece, and there was a pause.

Leif smiled down at her. A small smirk, a boyish glint in the eye, simultaneously sweet and mischievous.

_...Oh, no. _

Zoey knew that smile. Her mind began to race as the pianist grinned back at her singer and launched into the second verse.

_ “Victoria approached me with a fire in her eyes…” _

She had seen that smile months ago, almost every day since the first time she’d seen it through the conference room window in the moment before the unthinkable happened.

_ “...and I swear, and I swear I was burnin’ alive!” _

There was a perfectly placed growl in Leif’s voice as he burst up from the piano bench, one that she hadn’t heard in months. He moved around the piano with an electric energy that was all too familiar to Zoey. In the midst of her frenzied thoughts, she would have stopped the song again if she knew how.

_ “And you are causing me physical pain; it’s like you’ve handed me a knife, and from my insides, without any shame!” _

A part of Zoey’s intuition, the part that had been slowly growing since she got the power, told her that this was different; that this time, Leif was the spellbound one. Somehow, though, the movement slightly contradicted the lyrics; he held the same magnetism as he had all those months ago, and Zoey couldn’t help but be struck by a sense of déjà vu.

Having propelled himself around the piano, Leif practically fell onto the other side of the piano bench, impossibly close to Victoria. 

_ “But you are certainly my poison of choice!” _

Impossibly close to the little girl who had run down the beach during a Clarke family reunion, singing at the top of her lungs.

_ “And I know you’ve had your fair share of boys.” _

Impossibly close to the teenager who’d cried to Zoey (for reasons she was never sure of) when her school cut their show choir in favor of new uniforms for the basketball team.

_ “But you are certainly my poison of choice!” _

Impossibly close to the college student who had called her older cousin when they found out about Mitch’s illness, not offering fake condolences, just there to talk.

_ “And when I drink you down, my heart makes a sound.” _

Her cousin was twenty-three years old. She was improvising on the piano after each line. She was singing with Leif Donnelly.

_ I have to accept that. _

She knew it was true.

They stood up, and the piano continued on its own.

_ “Yeah, when I drink you down…” _

Yes, she knew it was true. It was very easy to ignore, however, when she watched her cousin turn around and place herself between the piano and the singer.

It was very, very easy to ignore when her cousin folded backwards over the music stand and Leif followed, hand on her waist, singing the next line against her neck.

_ “My heart makes a sound!” _

_ NOPE. _

_ NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE. _

_ “When I drink you down, my heart makes a sound…” _

Victoria’s dress flipped around her, almost of its own accord, as she danced around the piano. Zoey watched her face as she took in the light that streamed through the windows, as she took in the light that burned in his eyes.

_ “My heart makes a sound like-” _

spin and-

spin and-

clap.

Silence.

Her cousin smiled as she’d never seen before and kissed him as if it was the most natural thing she’d ever done.

_...I have no other choice. _

_ I have to tell her the truth. _

Her cousin’s back was now against the wall.

“What the-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really need to stop ending chapters with guitar chords.  
> anyway I LOVE THIS SONGGGGGGG


	5. i have a hero whenever i need one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a dream and its reprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this one took a while longer-I have other stuff to work on and this one is longer than the others because of the nature of its plot-but uh prepare to get Sad. lyrics from In Case You Don’t Live Forever by Ben Platt

She knew she was dreaming, but it didn’t stop the tears from coming. It was one of those dreams that consisted of a slightly altered memory; it was unexpected, though, that it was a simple one rather than some big life moment.

Two years ago.

She was sitting on the couch next to her dad, as she had often done lately, but this was different. He laughed out loud at something in the movie they were watching. In this moment, they had no idea what was to come.

The perspective of the dream then changed: Zoey was standing at the threshold of the living room, watching the memory play out from a third person point of view. The all-too-familiar lump was rising in her throat, and through her tears she barely noticed the soft piano that had crept into the living room.

_ “You put all your faith in my dreams...you gave me the world that I wanted. What did I do to deserve you?” _

Zoey stepped forward tentatively. It was her own past self that was singing to her father, and it seemed that she was sent back to hear it.

_ “I follow your steps with my feet. I walk on the road that you started.” _

Her younger self was completely oblivious of the fact that present-day Zoey was circling the couch. There was no regret in her eyes, not a speck of fear or the grief that now seemed ever-present.

_ “I need you to know that I heard you, every word.” _

Zoey took a deep breath and laid her hand on her father’s shoulder, but his figure dissolved the moment she touched him.

_ “I’ve waited way too long to say everything you mean to me…” _

She was only aware of the fact that she was now the one singing when she realized that she was sobbing through the melody.

_ “In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you now...I love you more than you’ll ever wrap your head around.” _

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to remember the long-passed memory as it had happened. Her younger self was still looking toward the spot where Mitch had been, as if she could still see him, as if he’d only faded in the older Zoey’s point of view.

_ “In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you the truth: I’m everything that I am because of you.” _

She felt like there was more that she needed to say, but her vision began to blur.

_ No, not now. _

_ Don’t let me wake up yet. _

_ Please. _

It ended.

\----

All day, Zoey struggled to remember the melody she’d heard in her dream, but it constantly eluded her. Every once in a while, she was able to grasp a fragment of it, and she tried to tap it out on her desk in an attempt to hold on to the memory.

The one sound she didn’t need at the end of this excruciatingly long day was the rolling of a chair towards her desk.

“You okay, Red? I’d expect the nervous tapping from Leif, but never from you.”

Tobin’s voice was joking as usual, but it held a hint of genuine concern. Zoey sighed.

“I’m fine. It’s just…” Besides the new wave of grief, the additional mention of Leif came bitterly into her mind, bringing up the unwelcome image that she’d run away from last night. They danced in the back of her mind, sliding down railings and twirling through her subconscious. Her cousin’s smile would never leave her memory.

_ Don’t you want to see her happy? _

_ Of course I do. _

_ But did it have to be HIM? _

Zoey sighed.

“Dad stuff?”

She nodded.

“Cousin stuff?”

She nodded again, suspicious of how he had suddenly become insightful. When she actually met his eyes, there was a glint in them that she knew well after five years, and she groaned.

“Leif told you, didn’t he?”

“It’s been a long time coming,” Tobin grinned. “I was rooting for them.”

“Of course you were.”

“What?” he said in defense. “Don’t tell me you couldn’t see it from the beginning.”

“Good night.”

“I mean, even their names fit! Leiftoria!”

“Good night, Tobin.”

“Zoey, wait.”

She turned around. She’d almost made her way to the elevator, desperate to escape the conversation, but there was something about that last statement that bugged her.

This was one of the very few times that Tobin-or any of the brogrammers, for that matter-had called her seriously by her first name.

“I’ve never been good at emotions, but…I know what it’s like to lose people. You-” He twirled his pen in his hand, as if trying to convince himself that what he was saying was casual. “You can talk to me.”

Zoey stood, stunned, at the threshold of the fourth floor.

“Thank you, Tobin.”

He nodded.

“Anytime.”

She turned and slowly left, still caught off guard.  _ I wonder what Tori’ll think of this-she never doubted him, not for a second. _

_ That’s not the only thing I have to tell her about. _

The elevator still didn’t work.

\----

Victoria was absentmindedly humming as she brushed her teeth, her voice dancing over a melody that Zoey didn’t recognize. It was in a similar manner to the way she’d come home last night, about a half hour later than her older cousin, apparently having had  _ lovely _ company for the walk home.

She couldn’t take much more of this.

“Tori?”

“Yeah?” Her voice came from the bathroom, and she poked her head around the door.

“I need to tell you something.”

“Just a second.”

The door closed again.

_ This is the last chance to back out. Think about it-if you hadn’t had the power, you wouldn’t have as many reasons to be against their relationship. He doesn’t know that you know all that you know- _

Victoria practically flounced out of the bathroom and sat on Zoey’s bed.

“What is it?”

She’d flounced in a similar way on the first day she’d visited Zoey’s apartment, soon after she’d started college. Nineteen and hopeful, she held a light that Zoey prayed would never be dimmed. If there was even a  _ chance _ -

“I don’t completely know how to say this.”

Victoria blinked, and her brow furrowed. Her deep hazel eyes seemed to jump as she immediately realized what the conversation was about.

“Zoey-”

“Just...hear me out.”

The younger woman sighed and looked at her cousin. A few seconds of silence passed before Zoey spoke again.

“You know I’d never lie to you, right?”

“Of course.” Her voice was heavy, as if she knew what was coming, but she believed what she was saying.

“I just-you...you mean a lot to me. I know him-at least I think I do-”

“You  _ think _ you do, that’s just it.”

“I have to tell you what else I’ve heard him sing.”

Victoria’s eyes widened.

“I don’t know if...unless there’s-is there-”

Her thoughts came in fragments, and she was struggling to string them into sentences. Zoey watched her eyes dart as her mind jumped to the worst possible conclusions, and she hurriedly attempted damage control.

“No, I don’t mean-he’s not a terrible person, it’s just-this is a mess.”

Victoria was quiet for a moment, fiddling with a loose thread on Zoey’s bedspread.

“I want to trust him...I do trust him. But you have to know that I trust you, too.”

A soft piano accompaniment began out of nowhere, and Zoey’s shoulders relaxed immediately. She’d never heard the song in reality, but she recognized it instinctively as the one that she’d been searching for all day.

_ “I, I’ve carried this song in my mind.” _

Victoria was apparently picking the song up where it had left off, and her expression was just as earnest and reflective as Zoey’s younger self had been in her dream.

_ “Listen, it’s echoing in me, but I haven’t helped you to hear it.” _

_ No, of course you have. This isn’t your fault, none of it is… _

_ “We, we’ve only got so much time…” _

She started to cry, and Zoey was sure that they were thinking the same thing.  _ Time has run out too much already. _

_ “I’m pretty sure it would kill me if you didn’t know that pieces of me are pieces of you. I’ve waited way too long to say everything you mean to me. In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you now...I love you more than you’ll ever wrap your head around. In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you the truth: I’m everything that I am...” _

A crescendo lifted the girl into a standing position. The melody seemed to carry her on its breath as she riffed to the skies.

While showing her a seemingly endless barrage of movie musicals, Mo had once told Zoey that the mark of a good one was the motivation behind each song; music should be the result of emotions so strong that words can’t be the only thing to convey them. She had nodded and turned back to the cheesy romance being played out on the screen, not really understanding the necessity of riffs and dynamic swells. Watching her cousin, though, as she cried her way through the song with a raw vulnerability that she’d seldom seen since “Mad World”, Zoey felt that she was understanding Mo’s words for the first time.

_ “In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you the truth.” _

She sat back down and looked straight at her older cousin. Zoey wasn’t sure whether she was aware of her own heartsong-so far, she’d only been able to hear when people were singing directly to her-but she got a sense that it didn’t matter.

_ “As long as I’m here as I am...so are you.” _

Zoey didn’t realize that she’d been keeping back tears until she hugged her cousin and let out a breath that she didn’t know she’d been holding. She hadn’t had a clue that she meant as much to Victoria as she did, but the earnest admiration in the girl’s eyes had made her see her role in her cousin’s life in a whole new way.

She couldn’t let her get hurt.

Victoria deserved the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoof. okay thank you for reading-coming up next: britney spears because i realized i needed something more recognizable


	6. losin' my head, spinnin' round and round

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> she finds out that he isn't who she thought he was. or is he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which ep 7 leif is brought back out in her eyes. also I realized I needed something more recognizable, this song came on the radio, and I realized that if no one sang it to him through the course of the show it would be a serious missed opportunity. lyrics from "toxic" by britney spears

She wasn’t completely sure of how she took it.

The girl who usually had so much to say was silent. A thousand thoughts lay behind her eyes, but Zoey could tell that she could barely express them.

Victoria had nodded curtly and slowly stood up, leaving her older cousin’s room without another word. Zoey had heard the closing of the door to the guest room and a few soft, bewildered sobs.

It had been silent after that until she got a text from Emily, apologizing for not updating her and amending her statement to say that they didn’t need a babysitter after all. In the whirl of emotion and the break in her schedule-she’d come in to work on a Saturday, just to get her mind off of everything-she’d almost completely forgotten.

She barely slept that night.

\----

Zoey’s eyes shot open at the sound of peppy power chords bursting through the wall. Under the impression that the song came from Mo’s apartment, she got up sluggishly, only to find her younger cousin dancing wildly in the kitchen as she made toaster waffles.

“...Tori?”

The girl’s head turned without a mark of embarrassment. She jumped around the kitchen, seeming out of breath as she sang what she was saying to the melody of the song.

“Morning, Zoey!”

“I...uh...”

“Oh, I am completely fine. I just have to keep moving!”

“I don’t know if this is-”

Each of the syllables that came from Victoria next were punctuated with a punchy flail that seemed to come straight out of a jazzercise video.

“If! I! Stop! Moving! I’ll! Start! Thinking! And! Therefore! Collapse! WHOO!”

She belted along with the chorus of the vaguely familiar pop song blasting from her speaker. Zoey shook her head.

“Look, I’m sorry about last night. I really should have handled that better, I just thought I had to tell you-”

“It’s fine! Dance with me, Zoey!”

“I know what it’s like to learn that someone isn’t who you thought they were-”

“ _ It’s called denial! _ ” Victoria sang as the last chords of the song rang out. When it ended, Zoey grabbed her cousin’s arm and looked her in the eye.

“We’re both going to work tomorrow. We eventually have to deal with this.”

The girl’s shoulders finally relaxed, and the frenzy in her expression gave way to bitter hopelessness.

“ _ We? _ It seems like  _ you’ve _ already dealt with it, you’ve had  _ time _ to deal with the truth, I just don’t know if I could ever…”

She plunked herself into a chair and tried to breathe. Zoey was quiet.

“I don’t know what I could ever say to him.” She looked squarely at her older cousin. “How am I supposed to bring up something like that in conversation? Good morning, Leif, do you want to go hiking this weekend, and also when were you planning on telling me about your corporate espionage in the pursuit of your boss?”

Zoey sat next to the younger woman and tried to think of something to say.

“I know it wasn’t fair of me to just...dump all of that on you.”

“Oh, I get it. You didn’t want me to get hurt. It’s fine.”

“Tori, look at me.”

She did.

“It doesn’t have to be fine. You don’t have to be fine.”

Victoria blinked a few times, shook her head, and laughed bitterly. There were tears in her throat.

“I’ve heard that a million times, and somehow it’s never sunk in. I’ve always had to be the strong one, the compassionate one, the emotionally intelligent one. I can handle things. I know how to deal with this, I can-”

She stopped short and let her head fall back over the chair as she cried. It was a release that she hadn’t taken in ages, and there was a silhouette of relief among the wave of emotion.

Zoey sat next to her, unsure of how to help but somehow feeling that just being there, as she promised weeks ago, was enough for now.

\----

The next day eventually came, and neither cousin was thrilled about it. They had made it through the morning without much incident, and Mo had once again arrived at the SPRQpoint building for their weekly lunch. As the three of them walked through the fourth floor, Zoey was enduring yet another of Mo’s crash courses on musical pop culture.

“You’re telling me you don’t even know Britney?” Victoria’s eyes were wide and incredulous at the thought.

“This needs to be remedied immediately,” Mo said. “Tori, would you do me the honor of demonstrating?”

Victoria laughed and granted the request, singing in an apparent imitation of the iconically breathy and autotuned voice.

_ “Too high, can’t come down. Losin’ my head, spinnin’ round and round.” _

Zoey rolled her eyes fondly as Mo grinned and joined in for the next line.

_ “Can you feel me now?” _

Something caught Victoria’s eye, and a heavily synthesized accompaniment gradually faded in as her expression became distracted and conflicted. Zoey started to realize that the demonstration was turning into a heartsong, but it was still a shock when the young soprano melodramatically threw herself against a wall and an impossibly high riff came from her throat.

“She’s doomed, isn’t she?” Mo asked with a completely deadpan expression when he noticed how wide Zoey’s eyes had gotten. She nodded slowly, although still unaware of the rest of the lyrics.

The catalyst of the event was a meeting being held in the conference room. With Joan and Max gone and Zoey’s awkwardness in giving presentations being proven, Leif had become the go-to for discussions such as the one currently taking place. He was sitting at the end of the long glass table, poised at the height of his power, but something in him seemed restless.

“I can almost understand the effect this has on her. I mean, look at him; he appears focused, but you can tell his mind isn’t really there.”

Mo looked down at her.

“Am I hearing correctly? Is Zoey Clarke learning to read people?”

She didn’t answer, only able to watch her cousin, who had made her way through the glass doors and was now standing, unnoticed by anyone, behind Leif’s high-backed rolling chair.

_ “With the taste of your lips I’m on a ride…” _

She slid her hands down the sides of the chair and quickly took them away, jumping back slightly as if it burned. Leif lifted his hand while talking inaudibly, as if making a point, and Victoria took it, pressing it against her face before letting go. She turned the chair so it was facing her and he stood; each of these movements was very carefully carried out, placed exactly on each beat.

_ “You’re toxic, I’m slippin’ under the taste of your poison paradise.” _

She moved swiftly away, but Leif was now an active participant in the heartsong, taking her outstretched hand and spinning her into him.

_ “I’m addicted to you, don’t you know that you’re toxic?” _

They were once again impossibly close, as they had been during their duet, but the energy felt very different. She reluctantly pulled away and started walking, dramatically and on beat, around the table.

_ “And I love what you do, don’t you know that you’re toxic?” _

Victoria stopped, seeming to sense that she was being followed, and turned to face Leif. He extended a hand to her, and she cautiously took it before a rush of emotion caused her to spin across him and break away. She backed out of the conference room as the bass line pounded on, stumbled back into her original position, and breathlessly repeated the riff.

There were a few seconds of silence as she continued to stare through the glass. Bringing herself out of her reverie, Victoria turned and noticed the stares of Zoey and Mo. She quickly realized the reason and sighed.

“I know, I know, I have to talk to him. Let’s just go to lunch.”

“Honey, I don’t know if-”

“Thanks, Mo, but I’m starving. We’ll figure it out somehow,” she said distractedly. Her voice was laced with pain, Zoey guessed, because she was seeing this side of Leif for the first time. In reality, he had never noticed the three. He’d apparently brought himself out of his thoughts enough to reach a compromise with the privacy investigators. As strange as it sounded, Zoey felt a chill run down her spine as she watched him shake their hands and straighten his sweater.

_ He has them right where he wants them. _

_ Her, too. _

She looked worriedly at her cousin, who was deep in thought.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

The younger woman blinked, shook her head, and briskly began making her way toward the elevator. She didn’t speak fully, but Zoey heard her muttering to herself.

“God, I’m absolutely-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when am i going to stop ending chapters with swear guitar title cards? NEVER, I SAY. (but this really is the beginning of an episode in my mind)


	7. an interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the needed conversation, from victoria's point of view.  
> "he's...emotionally stunted." -mtg 2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in honor of NEW PROMO PHOTOS!!!! also yeah I've really missed writing from her pov, if only for one chapter-there'll probably be another fic soon. because zoey herself doesn't see this conversation, but the audience does, I had to go back and it was so fun

_ Yes, the question is how, but right now I need to figure out the when. _

_ We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. _

She was making her way through the fourth floor at the end of the day, but Zoey wasn’t in her office. Victoria watched as her cousin mouthed “good luck” and hurriedly closed the door to the meditation room.

There was only one other person left on the floor.

_ So this is her way of helping me. _

_...I guess it’s time to cross the bridge. _

“Hi.”

Leif turned and adjusted his glasses in the same way he had on her first day, unintentionally twisting her heart. He smiled, but both of them seemed frozen where they stood, unsure of how to proceed.

_ Can he tell that something’s off? _

“How is everything?”

His face twisted into something unreadable, and he stammered out a sort of affirmation. She couldn’t help but smile, and this gave her a push to step forward.

_ Damn his endearing awkwardness. _

He had stepped forward too, and they both stopped and started at various times, each trying to figure out where to meet the other. Eventually, the tension broke with an uncomfortable laugh, and they ended up by the standing desk.

“So you’ve noticed that I’ve been...weird lately.”

Victoria blinked.  _ I hadn’t noticed anything different in his actual behavior...it’s only been in the way I’ve seen him. Come to think of it, though, maybe he hasn’t been himself- _

_ -unless this  _ is _ him. _

She looked him in the eye for the first time since Friday night.

At this point, she really didn’t know.

Realizing that he still expected an answer, she shrugged and slightly nodded. He stared out the window as he began his _...well, whatever he’s about to say. _

“I realized that there are a few things that I hadn’t told you, and if this is really going to be something”-here he turned and took her hand-”and I want it to be”- _ oh god don’t cry I won’t cry again- _ ”I have to be honest.”

She took a deep breath.

“About?”

He tilted his head and looked at her with suspicion.

“Unless you already…”

“Zoey told me.”

He blinked.

“About Joan? About the battle between the floors? About everything?”

She winced and nodded as she watched his eyes widen.

Once, a few weeks into their friendship, he had let her look through some of his sketchbook; she’d greatly admired his art, and had caught a glimpse of (along with something he’d quickly flipped past, something that looked almost like her) an exaggerated self-portrait that she now knew was closer to the subject than she thought. It wasn’t a stylistic choice; Leif’s face was just that expressive as he went through a thousand reactions at once. Taken by surprise, he seemed unable to think of a single coherent thing to say.

Something in Victoria shrank, urging her to back away and break into a run as she’d been informed that she’d done in her latest heartsong. She stayed put, though, wanting more than anything for her suspicions about his character to be disproven.

“I promise that I was going to tell you. I was planning on doing that as soon as possible-I’d been agonizing about it all weekend, in fact, I-”

He broke off and laughed bitterly, rendered almost speechless.

“So she really-she really just-”

“Zoey’s the youngest child of her immediate family, of course she was going to be protective of her younger cousin. She didn’t seem all that enthusiastic about telling me, I swear, she just didn’t want me to get hurt.”

“And she thinks she needs to protect you from me.”

The girl sighed. This was an extremely precarious situation- _ whichever way I respond, I’m offending the morals of someone I love. _

“And she’s not wrong.”

Victoria looked up, surprised. Leif was staring straight back at her, holding firm in his apparent self-deprecation.

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, I’d understand that line of thinking. I’ve done some things that I’m not proud of. Not to mention that, according to your cousin, I’m self-righteous, overly ambitious, and more alienating than endearing.”

“That’s another thing she told me, it wasn’t her that-”

“Then who?”

Her throat went dry.

“Who wrote it, Tori? I didn’t think Max hated me that much, I know that Tobin would never say something like that, although I wouldn’t put it past Glenn-”

“It was Joan.”

Silence.

“...What?”

His face had twisted further into the sad clown she’d seen on the pages of his sketchbook, and her chest felt like it was caving in.

“She told me that Joan told her-peer reviews are an awful idea anyway-she was wrong, you’re not like that, at least I didn’t think- _ are you still in love with her?” _

_...Oh, shit. _

She hadn’t intended the last part of that pitiful excuse for a sentence to escape her, but she’d accidentally blurted it out. For the past three days, Victoria had pushed that possibility to the back of her mind. She’d reminded herself that it had been months, he seemed truly committed, if he didn’t have feelings for her he wouldn’t have sung them, but the way his face fell when she said Joan’s name gave way to a flood of doubt.

“No.”

His voice was low. Because of the way the light hit his glasses, along with the tears that had started to build up behind her own, she couldn’t tell whether he was looking at her.

“It’s just...a bit of a shock. Zoey told me over and over that it wasn’t her,” he said bitterly, “and I simply refused to listen. If I’d have known-”

“I don’t want to be a rebound.”

This, too, had been blurted out almost against the girl’s will. She took a deep breath and resolved not to amend the statement.

He looked up.

“You aren’t. Of course you aren’t, my-”

He cut himself off again and leaned into his desk, staring holes through it before speaking again.

“I’m sorry.”

She shook her head.

“It has nothing to do with me, I guess.”

“Of course it does,” he said seriously, looking her squarely in the eye. “I’ve...never been able to express any emotions straight out, but I-I’m fairly sure that I’m in love with you.”

She blinked, and could think of nothing to say.

“You’re...fairly sure...that you’re in love with me.” Even through the tears that had begun to trickle underneath her glasses, she couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, which was reciprocated in a moment.

“No, I’m absolutely sure,” he sighed, “I’m terrible at this. An eloquent confession, I know.”

_ It was far more eloquent on Friday, but that’s a conversation for another day. _

_...God, I should probably tell him. _

He took off his glasses and looked down, running a hand through his hair.

“You deserve so much better.”

She took his hand, and he looked up to meet her eyes.

“So do you.”

He shook his head.

“I’ve been…” his voice trailed off. Trying to put his thoughts together, he eventually gave up and shrugged. “I don’t know what to say for myself.”

“Look, if we’re only going by the fact that you’re taking responsibility for your part-you’re a good person, Leif.”

He raised his eyebrows incredulously, somewhat amused.

“Really! You feel so deeply, and you’re absolutely brilliant, and you’ve got the most unbelievable blue eyes, and now I’m ranting like a middle schooler writing about her crush in a diary-”

“I don’t need my ego to be any more inflated than it already is,” he laughed, “especially when you’re the brilliant one.” He stood up straighter and smirked, tilting his head as if unable to look away from her. “Radiant, even.”

_ He knows exactly what he’s doing. _

Victoria laughed at the thought, slightly flustered, and squeezed the hand that she hadn’t yet let go of.

“We’ll just be honest with each other. That’s all I ask.”

Leif nodded earnestly, and a few more seconds passed before he spoke again.

“Part of me still can’t believe that you’d actually trust me to be honest in the first place. I don’t even want to think of how Zoey must have told you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that. She knew that she didn’t know the whole story, even as she was telling it.”

“Really?”

“Of course.” She took a moment, studying his face. “You know, the two of you are almost...narrative foils. You really need to just talk things out.”

“In that case, we might require a moderator.”

“I’ll bring the popcorn.”

He grinned and brought her hand to his lips before letting it go.

“Lunch tomorrow?”

_ So this is what it’s like to be wanted. _

_ To be loved. _

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

With that, she left the room smiling.

As she made her way to her cousin’s stakeout location, Victoria’s just-spoken words echoed through her mind.

_ We’ll just be honest with each other. _

_...Oh, boy. _

Zoey’s present difficulty in the romance department had suddenly become a lot more understandable.

“So...”

Victoria turned at the sound of her cousin’s voice and nodded toward her. They silently went to the elevator and spoke simultaneously the second the doors closed.

“How did it go? What happened?”

“I have to tell him about the power.”

Silence.

“You can-”

“No, go ahead, I-”

This was also spoken at the same moment. Another few seconds passed.

“What’s that about the power?”

“We’re good. Relationship-wise, I mean. It turns out...” Here she took a moment, allowing herself to let it sink in. “He told me the truth before I had the chance to confront him.”

Zoey’s eyes widened, and she looked up at her cousin.

“Really?”

She nodded, and Zoey looked forward again, shocked. Victoria noted, though, that she wasn’t quite as surprised at Leif’s honesty as expected. She smiled.

_ Narrative foils. _

“He did.” She paused and took a breath. “And I have to be honest too.”

The elevator froze.

“You don’t mean-”

“I do. Somehow. Maybe not now, but I can’t keep holding over him what he doesn’t know. That’s not a fair relationship.”

Zoey cleared her throat, as if sent back to an unpleasant memory.

“Did I say something?”

“No, it’s just...I mean, yes, but...I know it’s not fair. I get that you want to be honest, and I do too. I just have to figure out the right time to tell him.”

“Of course.”

Having said this, Victoria shook her head and looked down, still unable to stop smiling. Zoey looked over at her cousin, really looked at her, and nodded to herself. Her own knowing smile grew.

The elevator fell back into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very proud of this one actually. thanks everyone who's enjoyed this so far and commented, it really makes my day!!


	8. but somehow it will never end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an opportunity comes along, and things have to keep changing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I realized I have to get this chapter out and get as much of her story into the world as possible before s2 so I can at least be canon compliant. lyrics from "unusual way" from nine (listen to the Laura Benanti version and you will Bawl Your Eyes Out) (also yes this is chapter 7 of jumpstarted from Zo's POV)

Three sounds were the catalyst of the biggest news Zoey would hear that morning.

The first: an almost inaudible  _ ding _ that came from Victoria’s phone, which sat on Zoey’s dining room table.

The second: the frantic clattering of her cousin rushing through the apartment and practically throwing herself on the table to grab her phone.

The third: a piercing squeal that could probably be heard from blocks away.

Zoey smiled and turned away from her toaster.

“So I take it you got the role?”

Victoria nodded, shaking, unable to tear her eyes away from the fateful email. Her words came quickly and breathlessly.

“I know it means that I’ll have to move, but right now I can’t bear to think of leaving you and the life I’ve had for the past few months, so let’s just focus on- _ oh my God, my first professional theatre gig!” _

Zoey grinned, genuinely happy for her cousin, but the reality of the situation that was mentioned remained stuck in the back of her brain.

_ I don’t know what we’d do without each other. _

_ Never mind, she won’t be leaving for another two weeks. I know she’ll be plenty broken up about it as well, but it really is a great opportunity… _

\----

Two weeks passed far too quickly for anyone’s liking. Zoey eventually found herself in an airport lobby filled with impatient passengers; the ticket machines were out of order. The three of them had a bench to themselves; Zoey was occupying her mind by going through map after map as Leif and Victoria leaned on each other, deep in thought.

Although she’d reported a few duets that only she’d heard, Victoria hadn’t heartsung anything to do with her relationship with Leif since “Toxic”, and Zoey wasn’t sure of what that meant. If only to be sure that her younger cousin wouldn’t have her heart broken while alone in L.A., Zoey felt that she needed to hear at least something. She watched her cousin intently; after all of these years, Victoria was one of the few people she could read well even before she got her power.

The girl’s hazel eyes met the two pairs of blue ones that had shaped her summer, and the tinny pop song that was blasting over the speakers slowly morphed into something reflective and melancholy. Zoey smiled slightly, bittersweetly aware that she was about to hear her cousin’s last heartsong-for a long time, at least.

_ “In a very unusual way, I think I’m in love with you.” _

The lights in the airport dimmed as the song began in proper. Victoria’s face was nostalgic; this was one she was aware of and familiar with, and she let herself fall into it as she did with the song of her name.

_ “In a very unusual way, I want to cry.” _

She stood slowly, lifted by the low strings that had filled the lobby.

_ “Something inside me goes weak…” _

Leif stood up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, causing her to melt in accordance with the lyrics.

_ “Something inside me surrenders, and you’re the reason why, you’re the reason why!” _

She turned to face him as her voice grew into a crescendo, and Zoey felt once again as if she was back on Mo’s couch, watching another old musical movie in which the only thing that mattered to each actor was the person they were singing to.

_ “You don’t know what you do to me, you don’t have a clue. You can’t tell what it’s like to be me looking at you…it scares me so that I can hardly speak.” _

The last line was sung almost in a whisper as she held his face, trying to memorize every detail.

_ The song is so deeply vulnerable and she isn’t getting a single note back from him. If she’s aware that it’s happening, how is she okay with this? _

_...Unless she knows that it’s meant to be a duet. _

_ “In a very unusual way, I owe what I am to you.” _

_ “Oh, what you have done for me…” _

Zoey felt her shoulders relax when Leif’s voice joined her cousin’s in a countermelody.

_ “Though at times it appears I won’t stay, I’ll never go.” _

_ “...as always before.” _

Without even knowing the full extent of what he’d said, Tobin had been right.

They just fit.

_ “Special to me in my life-” _

_ “Special to me…” _

_ “-since the first day that I met you.” _

_ “...since that first day.” _

_ “How could I ever forget you once you had touched my soul?” _

They came into unison, and in that moment it rocketed close to the top of Zoey’s mental list for Mo of the most musically influential heartsongs.

_ This sounds like it’s from a musical. _

_ In that case, I think I get the hype. _

_ “In a very unusual way, you’ve made me whole.” _

They clung together as if each was the other’s oxygen, holding each other as the accompaniment slowly faded out and transitioned back into an announcement over the loudspeaker.

“Attention, passengers. We apologize for the delay caused by a temporary technical problem. Please approach the machines and order your tickets; you’ll find that they are once again working properly. Thank you for flying with us.”

Victoria let go, turned to Zoey, and hugged her tightly, her tears soaking into her older cousin’s sweater.

“Thank you for everything.”

“Are you kidding? You’ve helped me through so much. Thank  _ you _ .” Zoey stepped back to look her in the eye; she seemed more sure after her summer in San Francisco, more confident, more... _ whole. _

And she had to leave.

Zoey squeezed her younger cousin’s hand, reaffirming her promise of that first day:  _ I’m here for you. Always. _

“I love you.”

Victoria’s eyes rolled back as if she was trying to stop herself from crying even more, but she eventually took a breath and let it happen.

“I love you too.”

She sighed and turned to Leif, still as struck as she was when they first met. Taking a moment, she seemed to be lost for words, eventually pulling together every thought and emotion into one simple sentence.

“I’m really going to miss you.”

“I’m coming to your opening night. Don’t think for a minute that I won’t.”

“I’ll be flying back to visit all the time. You’ll be sick of me.”

“Impossible.”

She laughed, and Leif kissed her as if it really was the last time they’d see each other. After breaking away, Victoria, with the fullest and most bittersweet smile Zoey had ever seen, took a last look at each of them and disappeared into the lines of passengers.

Zoey stood there for a few moments before remembering that she had to complete an obligatory older-relative task that had been put off for far too long. She turned to Leif and squared her shoulders.

“Don’t you dare hurt her.”

“I never planned on it.”

He was smiling, but his voice seemed to crack a bit.

_ Is he...crying? _

He was crying.

“She really loves you, you know.”

Leif looked down at her and blinked, speechless.

“A lot. Always has. I know my cousin, and I could tell-the way she looked at you from the very beginning, Leif, I…I’m really happy for you.”

He nodded hazily and cleared his throat, trying to speak.

“I mean, of course we’ll be keeping in touch, I don’t know why I’m…”

“You mean a lot to each other. I completely understand.”

A few moments of silence passed as they started to make their way out of the airport. Zoey noticed out of the corner of her eye that Leif was nervously drumming the side of his leg, as if there was something else he had to say, but she decided not to push it; he eventually said something.

“She told me the truth about the peer reviews.”

“What?”

“A few months ago. I’m”-here he took a breath, clearly not used to this sort of situation-”I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you.”

This was the most sincere she had ever seen Leif. By the look on his face, she guessed that he was thinking just the same thing about her.

“Thank you.”

His phone uttered a notification, and Zoey smirked at the sight of him fumbling it out of his pocket. His eyes crinkled at the sides when he smiled and showed her what he’d been tagged in.

“Look at this-’kale chips at the airport shop making me miss my SPRQPoint already’.” He shook his head and laughed softly, staring at the photo with a wistful nostalgia for events that had passed far too recently to deserve it.

Zoey grinned as she took in both the photo and his face.

_ Yes, they’ll be okay. _

It was now her own phone’s turn to let out a  _ ding _ and announce a text from Victoria:

**love you so much, zo. keep the music while i’m gone.**

She smiled and typed out the only thing she could think to say.

**always. <3**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's the fic! that's what I've got of her story if she was on the show! there will be more coming as I come up with more ideas-I'm just so grateful to everyone who's read, enjoyed, and commented; the escape that lives in my heart feels so much more real when y'all love it just as much as I do. thank you thank you thank you.


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